Archive for May, 2011
Separation Anxiety in kids can be a real issue
Separation Anxiety in kids can be a real issue
Many children go through a phase in which they show anxiety and restlessness in the presence of unfamiliar people or situations. A baby may be unsettled by a new babysitter. A four year old may cry persistently during the first few days at kindergarten. These are perfectly normal situations and reactions.
One in every 25 children experiences some form of separation anxiety which can often be allayed by allowing the child to have a period of adjustment to his new situation. However, a child five or older who demonstrates unremitting resistance to camp, school or daycare for an extended period of time (3 weeks or more) may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder.
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?
This is a condition in which the child becomes physically agitated over the thought of being separated from his primary caregiver or home. It is not confined to children. Adults can experience separation anxiety as well; it is known as “agoraphobia,” or fear of being separated from a safe person or home. “Agora” in Greek means marketplace and the word “agoraphobic” refers to people who are terrified of leaving home for the market.
What are the Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder?
- The child complains of headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes he or she throws temper tantrums.
- The child has an irrational fear that something bad will happen if she leaves the house or caregiver.
- The child shows unusual concern about being kidnapped or taken away.
- The child fears that the caregiver might die.
- The child fears being alone, even in a separate room.
- The child has nightmares of being separated.
- The child cannot fall asleep unless caregiver is nearby.
What Can Be Done about Separation Anxiety Disorder?
If the child’s anxiety is so excessive it interferes with normal functioning at home and at school, it is wise to consult professional help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies provide a framework in which children can learn about their fears and how to deal with them.
In essence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapies help children identify negative thoughts rather than external events, as the source of anxious feelings and behavior. They also help children develop skills for self reliance and self help. They help them practice alternative responses to anxiety so that new neural pathways can replace old circuitry in the brain. Achievement of goal is predicated on the children’s ability to unlearn old patterns and replacing them with new responses.
Why is Professional Treatment important?
Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children should be taken seriously and that parents should seek professional treatment because untreated children usually perform poorly at school, have repeated absences from school, experience problems relating with peers and siblings or become alcohol or drug dependent when they grow older.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Relating to a Spouse When a Child is Born
Relating to a Spouse When a Child is Born
Many times parents are concerned about their relationship when a new child enters into this world. It can be especially challenging for new parents to know what to do and how to do it when there is a new life brought into the relationship when there was once only two people.
It is common for either the new father or new mother to feel left out or “unattended” when new children come into the relationship. This set up becomes unhealthy for the couples when they begin to fight several times a day because of the new setup.
Here are some strategies to handle the new set up with the baby being a part of the relationship.
When you are co-parenting with your spouse it is extremely important that you put that relationship first. When you have children together you must remember that you were first husband and wife (or boyfriend or girlfriend) before you were mom and dad. Too often children become a part of the family and wind up taking over all physical and emotional time and attention.
It is important for fathers to understand that your wife will be obsessed with the baby for the first year or so. It is important for fathers to be aware of this shift and attempt not to take it personal. You will feel left out; however your wife still loves and cares for you even though it doesn’t feel that way as you watch her constantly worry, think about, and only talk about the baby.
It is important for mothers to understand that the baby has many needs, however your husband still needs your time and attention. Make sure you schedule in time and reserve some energy to nurture the relationship with you and your husband. Sometimes you may have to schedule a date night or alone time once a week.
In conclusion, the first year or two will be a time of major transition for a couple when a child is born. What was once a partnership involving two is now ‘living for three”. Be patient with yourself and with your spouse as you go through the new and exciting time in your life.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How to burb your kiddo
Your kids and the hard places of life
Your kids and the hard places of life
I live between a rock and a hard place and I love it! In fact, I wouldn’t live any other way and after I explain what I mean, I think you’ll say the same. Maybe, from what I just said, you think I live in a house on the side of a high rocky mountain where I must constantly climb up and down a rocky road. Well, figuratively, yes, I do. We all do. You see, the house I live in is my body. My body, because it is alive and healthy, is always traveling through the daily hazards and hard places of the world out there and I love it that way and so should you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I enjoy things like suffering, struggle or turmoil and the other hard places of this life. I don’t. But my boss (Jesus) gives me orders and because I trust Him, I do what He says. Let me give you an example. In my printing business the other day, one of my customers said, after he gave me his order for 500 letterheads, “I really needed them yesterday!” Ha! That’s the story of my life. It’s been related that, the day I was born, my Dad looked at me and said, “Where have you been? I needed you yesterday! So you see, I’ve been running to catch up ever since! It seems there is always an urgent need (a hard place) whose deadline was always: yesterday. Do you find it that way? I do, in fact…I love it that way, and so should you.
Over the years I’ve made a discovery about hard places and suffering that I want to share with you. I used to consider hard places a burden. No more. I studied Jesus’ life. Doesn’t He always absorb the shocks of life for you and me? When here on earth, wasn’t He always “between a rock and a hard place?” You bet he was. Didn’t He soften the blows for you and me? He sure did. How did He do it? He depended on God, His Father, to be His rock, the One He held onto through everything. I’m sure He often said to His Father:
“Dad, I love You because You’re dependable. You’re My Rock!”
In short, we need to tell our children that Jesus is the Rock between us and the hard places in this life. Or, to say it in a more modern, up-to-date way, we must love and trust Jesus because He is the “shock absorber” between us and what, without Him, would be the unbearably – hard places – of our daily lives.
http://www.originalsbyweber.com
Ez-92-88.2-3.9
Terry Weber is a retired advertising/direct mail sales letter copywriter and inventor of several useful items. Terry and his wife Doris are Habitat For Humanity, RV Care-A- Vanners who, for the past eight years have volunteered to help build more than 39 houses all over the USA. They travel to and from the 2- week long builds in their RV. The money they make on their: http://www.originalsbyweber.com website helps them pay their expenses to and from those volunteer Habitat builds.
P.S. Due to the high cost of gasoline and some health problems, we can no longer drive the RV to Habitat builds. The RV is parked until health improves and gasoline prices come down.
How to burb your kiddo
Solving Teething Problems
In his recent ABC news opinion column, “Want to Stop Bullies?” Lee Dye cites new studies that claim that: Of course. So what? I’m glad Mr. Dye is speaking out and I share his desire to stop bullies and harassment, bullying and abuse in schools. The reason I’m sarcastic is that I think these studies, done by interviewing 269 middle school students in four schools in North Central Florida, are typical of the thought process and pseudo-scientific research that says that: However, these assumptions are all false and this research adds nothing we didn’t already know. And the generalizations they’ve already come up with are contradicted by evidence from the recent suicide deaths of four girls in Schenectady, New York. We already know that getting the kids involved in anti-bullying programs is critical. We already know that it’s crucial to teach children what to do when they are bystanders and see bullying. In order to incorporate that knowledge into anti-bullying programs, we don’t need to wait until there’s more pseudo-science research to prove that point. In summary, we know that it’s everyone’s job to stop bullying in schools and everyone’s help is necessary, especially the kids. No one group can make a program work if the other members of the local community resist or are uncaring. The programs in New Hampshire are only the latest reports documenting what we know already. Successful programs have the seven elements crucial to success: Anti-bullying laws are necessary to force reluctant or uncaring district administrators and principals to act. They’re also necessary to protect principals and teachers who do act from bullying parents who defend their little terrorists and threaten to sue the principal and school for harassing their little bully. That’s like in the Harry Potter series where Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco. The biggest problem in stopping bullies is not the lack of research about bullying: It’s the lack of skillful effort being put forth by the most caring people. At many schools, well-meaning principals and teachers need to join forces with a core group of parents to get programs in motion. At other schools, frustrated and angry parents need to rally other parents in order to force uncaring or cowardly school district administrators and principals to make effective school policies and then take act promptly and strongly. Resources Cited: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/Story?id=7517300&page=1 Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.” He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site and blog http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com
Solving Teething Problems
Can we stop the bullying?
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
Solving Teething Problems
How to give your baby pain relievers
Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed. Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room. Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep. The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”. Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed. Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there. In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore. Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here… Unleash The Parental Leader Within! Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar. He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How to give your baby pain relievers
15 minute bedtimes
Make sure she has a healthy body image
Make sure she has a healthy body image
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
How to calm a baby
Keeping yourself fit – and spending time with the kids
Keeping yourself fit – and spending time with the kids
Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children.
In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years (Vitesse, 2008) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill.
In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike.
Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family.
Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on parenting, parenting skills, pregnancy and dads, parenting tips, baby names, baby rooms and many more topics related to dads.
Solving Teething Problems
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How To Organize Your Parents: Part 1 | MS. Simplicity
Most of our parents are collectors and not hoarders. If you are worried that your parent my be a hoarder my first advice would be to get the help of a mental health professional. To determine if your parents are a collector or a hoarder …
Parents name baby girl “Like” after Facebook button â?? Tech …
May. 16, 2011 – We’ve heard of parents choosing baby names by available URLs, and we’ve also heard of a couple naming their bundle of joy after a very popular social.
Digital Life – Facebook-loving parents name their baby “Like”
Though we haven’t seen any of the baby pictures, the newest daughter of Lior and Vardit Adler is hopefully cute as a button.
New Parents Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Are Planning The Release Of …
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may still be getting used to being new parents to their newborn twin children Monroe and Moroccan Scott but they are also already planning their next individual business ventures. According to a new report …
Mom-101: The Etiquette Bitch says: RSVP, parents!
And as we parents know, all good things end with balloons. I had a fabulous time, and left with nothing but happy feelings. But this morning, I felt a little squidgy as I realized several of the parents who RSVP’d yes were no-shows. …
kids and summer
kids and summer
With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?”
Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.
In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:
1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep
How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:
8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)
Eat a healthy breakfast
Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour
Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good.
Eat a healthy lunch
Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:
a) a playground
b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)
c) a play gym
d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)
e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a
brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they
want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!
f) kick around a ball together
g) walk in the countryside
h) go to a museum
i) go to the zoo
j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade
popsicle or ice cream!
k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house
l) play catch
m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a
short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)
n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good
music and have an enjoyable time together)
o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.
p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths
q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a
good book while they play)
Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!)
Eat a healthy dinner
Spend some quality family time together
To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.
Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep.
Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/
Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose